25 Things I’ve Learned In My 20s
- You can’t date a jerk and expect to turn them into a good person.
Jerks are fully committed to being unpleasant. Those brief moments of
tenderness they give you are designed to trip you up and give you false
hope. It’s best to stay away altogether.
- The rumors are true: your metabolism does slow down as you get
older! That means if you’re still eating whatever you want, there’s a
good chance you’ll start to gain an awkward amount of weight. It won’t
be too drastic but your clothes will start to hang differently on your
body and you’ll feel an overall feeling of unattractiveness. Start to be
conscious of what you eat and strive to live a healthier lifestyle if
you want to get your teen body back. (Let’s be real though, that might
not ever come back.)
- You’re going to lose touch with a lot of your friends. With some
people, it will be expected but with others it will feel like a punch to
the stomach. No friendship is truly safe in your twenties. You’re
undergoing so many personal and professional changes that there’s bound
to be some casualties along the way. Don’t worry though. You’ll end up
with the ones that matter. If someone’s no longer in your life, it’s for
a reason.
- You’ll be jealous of everyone who’s more successful than you. That’s
okay. Just transfer that jealousy into something productive, like
working really hard so you can one day eclipse them and make them feel
jealous of YOU.
- You’ll question every decision you make and never feel completely
certain that you made the right choice. It’s pointless to wonder though.
You’re here now so you might as well make it be the right decision.
- You’re going to give your heart to a few people who don’t deserve
it. Then, one day you’ll come to your senses and ask them to give it
back.
- You’ll see your parents get older. You’ll come home during Christmas
break and see new lines developing on their faces. One day it’ll just
hit you that your parents are old and going to die. There’s nothing you
can do about it, besides treat them with kindness and visit as much as
your budget permits.
- You’ll have a boss who makes you feel like you’re nothing. It doesn’t have to be in a Devil Wears Prada
way. The cruelty can be much more subtle. Don’t let them get to you
though. They have no idea who the hell you really are and you’re
probably going to have their job someday so…
- Doing drugs is fun until it’s not, until it starts affecting your
life in negative ways and leaves you feeling guilty and wrecked. If that
happens, you should stop doing them.
- You’re going to puke in public. It’s fine. No one cares. Just puke.
- You’ll know how to make twenty dollars last an entire week because
you spent almost all of your paycheck on groceries at Whole Foods and
drunk cab rides. This lesson in frugality will serve you well.
- You’re going to betray your convictions. You’re going to feel shame.
You’re going to continue to put yourself in situations that aren’t good
for you. And then, slowly but surely, it will become less frequent. It
might not ever go away completely but it won’t be as bad. In the
meantime, stop shame spiraling about it. It gets you nowhere.
- Loving yourself is hard. Hating yourself is harder.
- You’re going to hook up with someone who you would never touch in
the daylight sober. Just don’t freak out too much about it. Consider it
to be your good deed for the day.
- You’re going to have people in your life who are toxic. They may say
that they love you, they may say that they have your back, but they
don’t. Get rid of them.
- You’ll have moments with someone that are so intense, it’ll feel
like you’ve been electrocuted back to life. You’ll hold on to these
moments for a long time. They’ll give you hope when you’re going through
the motions.
- You’ll always care about your first love. That doesn’t make you
crazy, it just makes you human. When relationships end, it’s not so cut
and dry. You carry everyone you’ve ever loved into every relationship
thereafter.
- You’ll enter your twenties as a fashion disaster and (hopefully)
leave them looking fantastic. If you don’t know how to put yourself
together by then, I really don’t know what to tell you.
- You’ll realize that the Internet can be a cruel son of a bitch but, you know, www.whatever.com.
- So much of what you think matters doesn’t actually matter at all.
It’s kind of rude. Like, thanks for making me believe in things that are
ultimately so inconsequential, you jerk.
- You’ll treat someone terribly. Whether it to be a lover or your
friend, there’ll be someone whose feelings you take for granted. We
focus too much on whether or not someone is hurting us. The reality is
that we might actually be the one who’s hurting someone.
- Doing “grown-up things” doesn’t make you a grown up. Shopping for
housewares, buying a plant, embracing domesticity — these things don’t
create maturity. If you’re still a baby who hasn’t figured things out,
you’ll remain a baby, no matter how many times you pay your rent on
time.
- Don’t force yourself into loving anyone. If it’s not working in the beginning, it’s probably not going to work ever.
- You are so lucky to have everything that you have. Stop crying about an unreturned text message and get some perspective.
- Don’t go too long without having sex. Ever.
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