I have something to tell you. I'm going to say it quickly and quietly because I am afraid of the repercussions. And this is probably going to be the only time I openly admit this. Ever. You have been on my mind for the longest time. Years and years. Since that first night at that bar and in that car home. You are not consistant. You are not ideal. You are not bothered one way or the other. But for me, it has really always been you. Others come and go and it is always you I come back to. I know that this won't happen. Even if I had stayed I don't think we would have ever gotten around to exploring this. You're too elusive and scared and I try far too hard not to care. But you should know, I think that, really, I love you. I think I've always known that I have, and I'm probably always going to in some sort of way. You are my comfort thought. I do not feel sad or tormented, just comforted that you will always be about in a vague capacity. That is enough for me.
Now you know x